|Job||Former member of Dallas Cowboys|
|First appearance||New Cowboy on the Block|
|Voiced by||Lou Reed|
Willie Lane, also known as Big Willie Lane, was a former back-up lineman for the Dallas Cowboys from 1976 to 1979, known solely for blocking a kick in the Super Bowl. Some time afterwards he was cut from the team. Willie was said to have engaged in human baiting in Mexico, in which he would wrestle wild animals in exchange for spectators giving him coins, although that was a Dale rumor so it is unconfirmed about actual truth. He is an alcoholic and had some legal problems with assaults and fights. He appeared in the episode "New Cowboy on the Block", where he moved into the neighborhood, instantly winning the admiration of his neighbors, but he turns out to be an inconsiderate and obnoxious neighbor, mainly towards Kahn at first, cutting his phone line when he complains at the noise at the party, having his dog go on his yard and never picking it up and digging holes in his yard. Interestly, it is Bobby who has the clearest attitude of the neighborhood, commenting to his father that Willie seems to be living in the past with his sole accomplishment of blocking one field goal, and that "for a pro athlete, Willie sure drinks a lot".
Eventually Hank speaks up, but Willie destroys his fence. He alerts the cops, but the police takes Willie's side so they can listen to the lineman's stories. After a while, Kahn steps up and insults Willie, where he almost attacked him, but Hank tells him to back off, provoking Willie to punch Hank, leaving his Super Bowl Ring marking on his face. They take a picture of it, and blackmail him into moving or they will turn him into the police. Willie would then leave the neighborhood.
At his time in Arlen, Willie had a job as a salesman in a car dealership, even selling Deion Sanders's car to Dale, which he and his friends later wrecked when Dale parked it on their basketball court.
He was voiced by Phil Hendrie.