|Season 13, Episode 12|
|Air date||March 15, 2009|
|Written by||Christy Stratton|
|Directed by||Tricia Garcia|
Bwah My Nose
Nancy Does Dallas
After spending the day shopping at the music store, and discovering that cassette tapes no longer exist, Peggy comes to terms with the fact that she is no longer cool. So when she meets Katt Savage, the coolest and most glamorous mom at Bobby’s cotillion class, she is dead set on becoming Katt’s new BFF and learning all the tricks of the cool trade. Bobby’s game because he just happens to have a major crush on Katt’s daughter Micheal. After showing Peggy a cool new wine bar, and introducing her to her hip friends, Katt invites Peggy and Bobby to Michael’s coming-out party. Peggy and Bobby are ecstatic, and begin immersing themselves on the art of being cool so that when they show up to the party they’ll be a hit. They go shopping, and get outfitted in the trendiest attire; right down to gladiator sandals and a jumpsuit for Peggy, and jeans that show off Bobby’s underwear. They study all of the cool new slang, and learn how to use it. Hank thinks it’s asinine, and tries to talk them into going with him to the The Arlen Barn to enjoy a sandwich instead; Hank appears to enjoy the food, especially the meatloaf sandwich, but is uncomfortable with the restaurant's open seating policy which means he has to sit with strangers even to get a sandwich to go. Peggy and Bobby feel like they have too much riding on making a good impression at the party, so they decline his offer.
Finally the day of the big party arrives. Just as Michael is making her grand entrance on a beautiful horse, Peggy and Bobby show up looking like a couple of fashion victims. They scare the horse, who throws Michael into a bowl of punch, ruining her dress and party. Peggy and Bobby are mortified as the rest of the partygoers let them have it. They search desperately for a way to sneak out, but instead they stumble upon Katt’s private room; which is filled with the latest computers, gadgets, and magazine tear sheets. When Katt discovers them in there, she isn’t angry with them. She actually feels relief, and a new sense of freedom that someone found her out. She admits that it’s really exhausting being cool and staying cutting edge. Her real name isn’t even Katt Savage; it’s Barb Davis. She even goes so far as to tell Peggy that she’s very cool, because she isn’t driven by blogs or popular trends. The two of them become friends after all.
- While cotillions are ways for girls to learn social graces, the equivalent for boys is called a beautillion (pronounced BO-till-yun). Both cotillions and beautillions are features of African American culture. Programs can last for as long as seven months and feature not only etiquette lessons but education, mentoring, and social service opportunities. Cotillions and beautillions generally take on youths who are seniors in high school, so the junior high schoolers in the class Bobbie attended are only getting an abbreviated 6-week exposure to etiquette.
- Peggy was looking for the new Michael Buble album.
- When Peggy and Bobby show up at the party, their standing pose resembles that of Kid ‘n Play.
- Katt: "Peggy, you aren't driven by trends or fashion or snarky Web sites. You don't need to be. You are your own person. And I think that's way cool."
Peggy: "Well, come to think of it, so do I."
- Katt: "You think Katt Savage is my real name? It's not. It's Barb Davis. And now...I'm free."
Peggy: "I-I do not understand."
Katt: "I knew I was drawn to you for a reason. I must've had a subconscious need to break away from all this."
Peggy: "Oh... so, I am so 'uncool,' I snapped you out of your hip trance?"
- Peggy: "I swear, we were not snooping, we, we were just trying to find a way out."
Katt: (sighs) "I never wanted anyone to see this. I don't know,...maybe I did, since I didn't keep it locked or anything."
Bobby: "You're not going to lock it now, are you?"
Katt: "Being as cutting edge as I am, it's a full-time job. Seriously. I wake up when it's still dark to watch the European news. Then I check in with the club kids just before they go to bed. I read 142 blogs a day, every day, every hour. And look at me, I'm texting right now." (reads message) "Huh. Wristbands are out. Sure, all of this seems crazy. But I don't know, I guess that's the price you pay for glamor. I mean, look at this bag. It's not coming out for three months."
Peggy: "I believe it. I want this bag, that collage, your life!"
Katt: "Trust me, you don't. See, I follow trends. All of them, no matter what-- piercings, colonics, trendy surgeries, online affairs. I've even done some street fighting."
- Michael: "I'm Michael."
Bobby: "What if I told you my name was Amanda? It's not. It's Bobby."
Michael:(laughs) "You're funny. That's major."
Michael: "Sorry, they use it in Britain. It means, you know, "cool." Like perfume that smells like dirt or numbers used as letters."
- Bobby: "Wow a whole new crop of girls! And not one of them has seen my flatulent monkey visits the post office routine."
- Peggy: "Am I just gonna listen to the same cassettes and wear the same clothes until I die?"
Hank: "Well, not if they wear out."
- Peggy: I'm just not as plugged in as I used to.
Hank: Sure you're plugged in. You're the one that told us about Aloe Vera.
- Hank (when first tasting the meatloaf sandwich at the Arlen Barn): "This table smells like a diaper and this is still the best meal I've had in years."