|The Wedding of Bobby Hill|
|Season 3, Episode 14|
|Air date||February 9, 1999|
|Written by||Johnathan Collier|
|Directed by||Jack Dyer|
Sleight of Hank
Hank, Dale, and Bill see Boomhauer off as he leaves on a trip to rendezvous with a woman he met through the Internet. Hank convinces Boomhauer that Bobby would make an excellent house-sitter during his absence. He hands his son the keys to Boomhauer’s house, reminding him about his responsibilities as he enters the newest phase of his life: adulthood. Meanwhile, Luanne cuts the hair of Rad Thibodeaux, a nattily-dressed man who oozes self-confidence. Rad, a self-proclaimed genius and alleged concert promoter, easily wins-over the gullible Luanne. The two begin dating. Rad brings her to an “industry party” at an apartment populated by CD store clerks and night-club staffers. Soon, Bobby is also won over by Rad’s charm and alleged importance within the entertainment industry. One day, as Luanne and Rad kiss near Arlen’s memorial fountain, Bobby mentions that he is in charge of looking after Boomhauer’s empty house. Rad arches an eyebrow, suddenly interested. A short time later, he throws an industry party for his many friends at Boomhauer’s residence. Eventually, Luanne realizes that Rad never notified Boomhauer about his intentions. Angered, she ends their relationship and storms off to get her uncle. Hank orders everyone out of the house. He then spots Bobby sitting in a hot tub with two ladies. Several cans of beer sit on the edge of the hot tub. Hank grabs Bobby by the arm and marches him out the door.
Hank and Peggy end Bobby’s duties as Boomhauser’s house-sitter. As a punishment, they take away his comedy props. A rift soon develops between Bobby and Luanne. Bobby consults Dale for help. A short time later, the boy replaces Luanne’s hairspray with an air horn. Luanne is startled by the deafening blast. She retaliates by replacing Bobby’s fruit pie filling with dirt. Not to be outdone, Bobby cuts a hole in the seat of a pair of Luanne’s pants. The pranks soon escalate until Bobby replaces Luanne’s birth-control pills with candy. Luanne notices the difference and decides to take action. She tells Bobby that women who don’t take a birth-control pill every day get pregnant. A look of grave concern passes over the boy’s face. Later, Luanne tells Hank and Peggy about her ruse. The pair decide they must teach their son a lesson. They continue the charade by telling Bobby there is only one thing left for him to do: marry Luanne.
Hank and Peggy arrange for Bill to “marry” Luanne and Bobby in the backyard. As the ceremony gets underway, Hank escorts Luanne, clad in a wedding dress, out the patio door. Bobby’s eyes widen, the seriousness of the situation growing by the minute. Noticing the wedding, Khan tells Minh: "Bobby Hillbilly marrying hillbilly cousin. You owe me $5!". After the pair finish their vows, Bobby lays down for a while. A short time later, Peggy and Hank decide to teach Luanne a lesson. They tell her that, as it turns out, Bill is actually a licensed minister and therefore she is legally married to Bobby. Luanne becomes panic-stricken, and even more so when Peggy informs her that she must wait a year before she can finalize a divorce. After Luanne runs off, Peggy and Hank share a sneaky chuckle. Eventually, Bill becomes morose at the thought of being a single man. His emotions churning, he tells Luanne and Bobby the truth. They tell Hank and Peggy, who, rather than being upset about Bill selling them out, is mad that he only gave them place matts at the fake wedding. Later, a relieved Bobby and Luanne happily enjoy their wedding cake.
- During Rad Thibodeaux's haircut, there is a shot that shows the both of them in the mirror but the objects on the counter in front of Rad have no reflection.
- We see in this episode exactly where Boomhauer's house is: he lives across Milton St. from Bill, rather than actually on the famous alley which runs between Milton St. and Rainey St. (where the Hills, Gribbles, and Soupanousinphones live). Although the locations of houses does change thoroughout the series.
- In this episode, Luanne's hair is its normal length, but it should be growing out after she lost it in the Mega-Lo Mart explosion.
- It is unknown what became of Hank and Peggy after Bill rats them out.