|The Texas Skillsaw Massacre|
|Season 7, Episode 7|
|Air date||December 15, 2002|
|Written by||Alan R. Cohen and Alan Freedland|
|Directed by||Shaun Cashman|
The Son Also Roses
Full Metal Dust Jacket
The Texas Skilsaw Massacre is the seventh episode of the seventh season of King of the Hill, and the 133rd episode overall. It was first aired on December 15, 2002. The episode was written by Alan R. Cohen and Alan Freedland, and directed by Shaun Cashman.
As Hank makes breakfast one morning, he falls through his kitchen floor. He discovers a tunnel at the bottom and, after crawling through it, ends up in Dale's basement. As they survey the damage, Hank discovers that Dale removed his floor joists (which Dale called "underground driftwood"). Dale does not apologize and calls it his "2-way intersection" between his house and Hank's. As punishment, Dale cannot help with the building project, to his dismay.
A city inspector shuts the Hills' house down as structurally unfit for habitation. The Hills are forced to stay at the Gribbles' house, after Nancy pressures Dale to make the gesture. They are soon forced to put up with Dale's annoyances.
Then, at the construction site, Dale arrives with more complaints about them. Hank, cutting wood with a circular saw, ignores Dale's comments until he realizes something horrible has occurred: he has accidentally cut off Dale's finger with the saw, causing Dale to scream in horror.
As Dale is wheeled out of the ER, he claims that he will sue Hank. The staff and police believe that the accident was a domestic abuse situation. The officer ask Dale if he wished to press assault charges, which he does and told him to arrest Hank and so he did. At the courthouse, Hank tries to explain himself, claiming it was an accident (It was also Dale's fault, as he had his hand in front of the blade). Dale refuse to believe it was an accident. The judge issues a restraining order against Hank specifying that he cannot be within 100 feet of Dale. He angrily said that is crazy. The judge believe Hank has a serious problem controlling his rage and sentence Hank to an anger management class and the restraining order won't be removed until he passes the anger management class.
Things deteriorate when Bill, Dale and Boomhauer use a measuring tape to measure 100 ft. to keep Hank away from Dale. Bill tells Dale that he's lighting his finger while he was trying to light his cigarette; Dale thanks Bill for the heads-up, because Dale has no feeling in his finger Hank cut off. Hank said that Bill and Boomhauer can come over and stand by him to keep him company, but Bill said he'll wait 'til Hank passes the anger management class, because he believe that Hank cut his finger off for digging a tunnel under his house. Bill said he would make advance out of Peggy's underclothes and can't imagine what Hank would do to Bill. Hank said he wouldn't hurt them and said he doesn't have a problem with anger, he has a problem with idiots. When Hank almost took one step within 100 ft., Dale told him if he takes one more step Hank will have to move to a similar house a few blocks away, which made Hank a little bit mad and he kick the measuring tape. When Hank did that, it ricochets off a rock and hits Bill in his crotch.
While at the anger management class, Hank puts up with the teacher's childish ways of anger controlling, such as the "avoid dance". He meets a rebellious fellow classmate named Big Jim, who becomes his friend. As the pair go to work fixing the tunnel after class, the others come by and explain the plan of digging multiple tunnels to each house using a portable tunneling machine known as a "ditch witch." Dale had planned a three-way intersection between their houses, and Hank was not invited. As Dale and Hank fight about the plan, Big Jim defends Hank and shouts at Dale. Suddenly, as Big Jim barks through his now frothing mouth, he suffers a stroke or a heart attack and drops dead. At Big Jim's funeral, Peggy shows Hank that if he does not control his anger, he'll end up like Big Jim.
Soon, Hank graduates the class and arrives at the alley, only to find no one is there. Hank discovers the tunnel plan was completed and everyone is underground. As they dig another hole for beer cans, Hank sees a massive garbage truck heading down the road and knows the trio will be crushed. He calmly tries to tell them to get out, but they refuse. Hank manages to briefly stop the truck, but is put off by the driver. Now desperate, he loses his temper for his friends and yells at them to leave the tunnel and they quickly leave seconds before the truck sinks into the tunnel.
As Hank drinks beer with his grateful friends again, Dale shows off his newest completed plan: ziplines, much to Hank's dismay. When Dale attempts to demonstrate his plan, he only gets several inches off the ground and awkwardly sinks down, but he says that hopefully Hank understood the concept.
- Hank Hill
- Peggy Hill
- Bobby Hill
- Dale Gribble
- Nancy Gribble
- Jeff Boomhauer
- Bill Dauterive
- Kahn Souphanousinphone
- Big Jim (cameo)
- Chuck Mangione
- When Big Jim says he loves doing two things: building dollhouse furniture and kicking ass, and that he doesn't see any dollhouse furniture around, this is a variation of Roddy Piper's famous line from the movie They Live: "I came to chew bubblegum and kick ass and I'm all out of bubblegum".*Many clips from previous episodes (including Life in the Fast Lane, Bobby's Saga) are shown during Hank's anger montage highlighting his most violent and aggressive moments.
- This episode marks the fourth time someone has died in the series, the first person to die was Buckley, the second was Debbie Grund, and in Season 3, Chet Elderson dies in "A Firefighting We Will Go."
- The title is a parody of the horror movie The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
- Hank crawling through the poster into Dale's basement is a parody of The Shawshank Redemption, in which the main character escaped from prison via a hole dug through his cell wall, which was concealed with a stack of posters.