|The Texas Skillsaw Massacre|
|Season 7, Episode 133|
|Air date||December 15, 2002|
|Written by||Alan R. Cohen and Alan Freedland|
|Directed by||Shaun Cashman|
The Son Also Roses
Full Metal Dust Jacket
The Texas Skilsaw Massacre is the seventh episode of the seventh season of King of the Hill, and the 133rd episode overall. It was first aired on December 15, 2002. The episode was written by Alan R. Cohen and Alan Freedland, and directed by Shaun Cashman.
As Hank makes breakfast one morning, he falls through his floor. He discovers a tunnel at the bottom and, after crawling through it, ends up in Dale's basement. As they survey the damage, Hank discovers that Dale removed his floor joists (which Dale believed was "underground driftwood"). Dale does not apologize and calls it his "2-way intersection" between his house and Hank's. As punishment, Dale cannot help with the building project, to his dismay. A city inspector shuts the Hills' house down and as a result, the Hills are forced to stay at the Gribbles' house. They are soon forced to put up with Dale's annoyances. Then, at the construction site, Dale arrives with more complaints about them. Hank, cutting wood with a circular saw, ignores Dale's comments until he realizes something horrible has occurred: he has accidentally cut off Dale's finger with the saw, causing Dale to scream in horror.
As Dale is wheeled out of the ER, he claims that he will sue Hank and the staff and police believe that the accident was an act of domestic violence. At the courthouse, Hank tries to explain himself, claiming it was an accident (It was also Dale's fault, as he had his hand in front of the blade). Hank is given a restraining order that he cannot be within 100 feet of Dale. When Hank angrily kicks the measuring tape that recorded Hank's distance from Dale, it is launched by a rock and hits Bill in his penis. While at an anger management class that had also come to Hank as a punishment, Hank puts up with the teacher's childish ways of anger controlling, such as the "avoid dance". He meets a rebellious fellow classmate named Big Jim, who becomes his friend. As the pair go to work fixing the tunnel after class, the others come by and explain the plan of digging multiple tunnels to each house using a portable tunneling machine known as a "ditch witch." Dale had planned a three-way intersection between their houses, and Hank was not invited. As Dale and Hank fight about the plan, Big Jim defends Hank and shouts at Dale. Suddenly, as Big Jim barks through his now frothing mouth, he suffers a stroke, a heart attack and drops dead. At Big Jim's funeral, Peggy shows Hank that if he does not control his anger, he'll end up like Big Jim.
Soon, Hank graduates the class and arrives at the alley, only to find no one is there. Hank discovers the tunnel plan was completed and everyone is underground. As they dig another hole for beer cans, Hank sees a massive garbage truck heading down the road and knows the trio will be crushed. He calmy tries to tell them to get out, but they refuse. Hank manages to briefly stop the truck, but is put off by the driver. Now in desperate measures, he loses his temper for his friends to leave the tunnel and they quickly leave seconds before the truck sinks into the tunnel. As Hank drinks beer with his grateful friends again, Dale shows off his newest completed plan: ziplines, much to Hank's dismay. When Dale attempts to demonstrate his plan, he only gets several inches off the ground and awkwardly sinks down, but he says that hopefully Hank understood.
- Many clips from previous episodes (including Life in the Fast Lane, Bobby's Saga) are shown during Hank's anger montage highlighting his most violent and aggressive moments.
- This episode marks the second time someone has died in the series, the first person to die was Buckley.
- The title is a parody of the horror movie The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
- Hank crawling through the poster into Dale's basement is a parody of The Shawshank Redemption, in which the main character escaped from prison via a hole dug through his cell wall, which was concealed with a stack of posters.