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Soldier of Misfortune

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Soldier of Misfortune
Season 6, Episode 106
Air date December 9, 2001
Written by J.B. Cook
Directed by Anthony Lioi
Episode guide
Bobby Goes Nuts
Lupe's Revenge

Soldier of Misfortune is the one hundred-sixth episode of King of the Hill. It was first aired on December 9, 2001 (jobs). The episode was written by J.B. Cook and directed by Anthony Lioi. Gary Busey guest stars.


Dale is running for re-election as the Arlen Gun Club president, but his chances seem to be shot when he accidentally discharges his gun while telling a story. The day after, Mad Dog, Dale's rival, runs for gun club president and Dale starts to lose his confidence. To give Dale his confidence back, Hank pretends to be "Mr. Big," answers Dale's ad in Soldier of Fortune magazine, and assigns Dale to pick up a briefcase.  Dale violates a social norm when he throws sand in some dude's eyes.  But Dale bungles the job, and nearly gets his friends killed by Mad Dog.


  • Hank: Maybe I can hit the redial button with my nose and call for help. It's our only hope.
  • 'Bill: Go for it.
  • Dale: Boop the number you have...
  • Hank (whispers): Dale, it's Hank. Mad Dog is holding us prisoner at his house.
  • Dale: Oh, god, oh, god, oh, god, Hank. Joseph! Forget the flip-flops, just get the couch.
  • Joseph: (Grunting)
  • Bobby: Is that my dad? If he's not going to make it home for dinner ask him if I can have his pork chop.
  • Dale: Bobby, you'll be having your dad's pork chop every night for the rest of your life. Wait... that's the saddest thing I've ever heard. Retraction. Bobby, you will not be having your dad's pork chop tonight or any other night. You hear that, Hank? Bobby's not having your pork chop, damn it. I'm on my way!
  • Hank: (On Phone) No, no, Dale, don't. Just call the cops.
  • Mad Dog: Oh, my god what the hell are you doing?
  • Hank: Nothing, I swear. I was just calling for help.
  • Mad Dog: Give me that.

  • Hank: Dale, did you call the cops?


Hank: "Mr. Big is Pleased."

Season 5 Season 6 Season 7

Bobby Goes Nuts · Soldier of Misfortune · Lupe's Revenge · The Father, the Son, and J.C. · Father of the Bribe · I'm With Cupid · Torch Song Hillogy · Joust Like a Woman · The Bluegrass is Always Greener · The Substitute Spanish Prisoner · Unfortunate Son · Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret Hill · Tankin' it to the Streets · Of Mice and Little Green Men · A Man Without a Country Club · Beer and Loathing · Fun with Jane and Jane · My Own Private Rodeo · Sug Night · Dang Ol' Love · Returning Japanese · Returning Japanese II

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