|Peggy's Fan Fair|
|Season 4, Episode 24|
|Air date||May 21, 2000|
|Written by||Alan R. Cohen and Alan Freedland|
|Directed by||Jeff Myers|
Transnational Amusements Presents: Peggy's Magic Sex Feet
The Perils of Polling
While attending a Nashville music festival with Hank and the other churchgoers, Peggy becomes convinced that Randy Travis stole her song lyrics after she hears Travis singing the song she submitted to a contest, only to be told she lost. After confronting Travis, he says the songs are just similar and talks to Hank. When Peggy angrily states that the song was inspired by her large feet and grandmother's kindness, Randy just pretends not to care.
Later on, when Randy then copies what Peggy had said during their conversation at the trailer, saying things such as "his feet would grow a little faster than most". Peggy is aghast and calls for Hank.
Meanwhile, Bobby and Luanne meet Brooks and Dunn when they bring them Peggy's apple brown betty, it falls in some horse manure but they just scrape it up and say no one will ever notice. When one of them eats the brown betty, he gets seriously ill and keeps vomiting.
Later, Hank shows up and Peggy lists everything that Randy had stolen from her: Boggle, the big feet, and Montana. An audience member shushes her, and she asks who had the nerve to say that.
Hank takes her out of the audience so she does not cause a scene, and Peggy asks why Hank is siding with Randy Travis, as she is his wife. Hanks finally cracks and admits that while he believes Peggy's claim of Travis having stole her song and her biography, he thinks those claims are exaggerations. Peggy then asks if Hank believes her to be a liar, and asks why she would fabricate all this. Hank then responds by implying that Peggy has too big of an ego; i.e. Hank thinks she has too high of a self-opinion. Peggy then asks if she should have a low opinion of self, and Hank argues that Peggy's done so much in her life that taking credit for things she has not done is not necessary, such as writing the song and other things. Peggy asks for clarification, and Hank then recalls at dinnertime, she had called spaghetti "Spa-Peggy and Meatballs", when all it was is tomato sauce, meatballs, and noodles put together. Peggy mentions about adding the right amount of sugar and parmesian. Hank brings up an opinion of hers that kindling is the best wood to start a fire with and states that this is not an opinion; it's a well known fact. Hank then says that Peggy accusing Travis of theft of her life-story is starting to get crazy. Naturally, Peggy doesn't take too kindly to this, and snaps at Hank that she told him the truth, and if she's a liar, may God strike her down. Nothing happens, Peggy goes "Ha!" in Hank's face and leaves Hank standing.
While everyone else is at the final jam, Peggy--who has enlisted Dale, Bill, and Boomhauer--teepees Travis' trailer. But when they accidently knock his trailer into the lake, they run away. When Peggy finds out that their alibi is based on who Dale thought was Travis signing autographs at his booth, Hank goes back and finds that Travis is in his trailer. Hank quickly swims out and saves Travis' life.
While under investigation, the police turn up the poisoned apple brown betty and are ready to take Peggy to jail when Hank volunteers to eat it. The police are satisfied enough, and they decide not to arrest Peggy.
Later, Travis says that when his trailer got pushed in the water, that a noble fan tried to save him, but that he ended up saving Hank. Hank then too wants to kick his ass.
- PEGGY: I sent song lyrics to every major country music star, and I finally got this from Mr. Randy Travis!
- HANK: Randy Travis?
- PEGGY: Okay: (reads) "Dear songwriter, we regret to inform you, blah blah blah, legal reasons, blah blah, never read it, blah blah blah..." okay: "Once again, good luck with your songwriting career. Signed Rob Reeders of the firm Reeders and Anatole."
- HANK: Kinda sounds to me like Randy Travis's lawyer sent you a rejection letter.
- PEGGY: Oh, Hank, they have to say that. Travis loved my lyrics! He called me a songwriter, he said I have a career in front of me, and you know what? He is right.
- PEGGY: I hope you brought your appetites, because I made spa-Peggy and meatballs!
- ASSISTANT PASTOR LARRY: Did she say "spa-Peggy?"
- HANK: Well, "spa-Peggy" is kind of like spaghetti. I'm not sure what Peggy does different, if anything. But it's the one dish she's kind of made her own.
- HANK: You've got a pretty high opinion of yourself --
- PEGGY: Oh, and I should have a low opinion of myself?
- HANK: No, it's just that you've done so much in your life, you don't need to take credit for things you haven't done, like writing that song, and, you know, the other stuff.
- RANDY TRAVIS: Propane salesman, hm? Now, that's something that would make a good song.
- HANK: I have been saying that for years!
- RANDY TRAVIS: And now I'd like to introduce y'all to Hank Hill, a man who taught me just how precious life is. You see, yesterday my trailer fell in the lake, and just as I was freeing myself, I saw this loyal fan drowning in the water nearby. And I saved his life. I want to bring him up here to sing with me. Come on, Hank.
- HANK: Well, I'll punch him this time.
- PEGGY: No, what's the use?