|Night and Deity|
|Season 7, Episode 21|
|Air date||May 11, 2003|
|Written by||Garland Testa|
|Directed by||Gary McCarver|
Maid in Arlen
In the Hills’ backyard, Peggy welcomes gatherers to her backyard bird count, which is being done in cooperation with the Audubon Society. Dale and Joseph show up sporting shotguns, prompting Hank to remind them they’re supposed to count the birds. When Bill has little luck attracting birds into his own backyard, he scatters huge amounts of popcorn around the area. Before long, pigeons descend on Rainey Street in such vast numbers it makes it unsafe to venture outside. Dale takes it upon himself to rid the neighborhood of the birds, but his attempt fails. He decides there’s only one thing left to do: call on Sheila Refkin, the Pigeon God of Heimlich County. When the pretty Sheila arrives in the neighborhood, Dale reacts with awe, as she’s something of a legend in the pest control world. It doesn’t take long for Nancy to notice the new girl in town…and her affect on Dale. Meanwhile, Luanne asks Peggy and Hank if one of them would act as her designated driver at her upcoming 21st birthday party. Peggy quickly steps forward…but Luanne chooses a reluctant Hank instead.
Nancy’s worries about Sheila stealing Dale away prove well-founded; Dale accepts Sheila’s invitation to join her in an eradication job at a motel. She tells Peggy it wouldn’t be right for her to chastise Dale, as she carried on an affair with John Redcorn for years. Peggy encourages her to become a bigger part of Dale’s world. Nancy takes her advice and convinces Dale to take her along on his next extermination job. But when she’s asked to shoot gophers on a baseball field, she can’t bring herself to do it. A smoke grenade goes off in Dale’s hand, engulfing him. Later, Nancy gives Sheila a gift certificate for a free massage at John Redcorn’s place. She tells Sheila to ask for “the migraine special.” Sheila does just that…but her mind is so focused on her relationship with Dale that Redcorn isn’t able to have sex with her. Eventually, Nancy tells Dale not to go out with Sheila, but he brings up John Redcorn’s name, causing Nancy to look ashamed. Meanwhile, Hank accompanies Luanne to a bar, where he’s to act as her designated driver. He reacts with revulsion when a Cheesy Guy hits on Luanne. He moves to another part of the bar, inadvertently standing beneath a sign that reads “poppers.” Two large men walk up to Hank and force bottles of tequila down his throat.
As Dale and Sheila head out for their extermination date at the motel, Peggy helps Nancy get through the night by playing Boggle with her. Meanwhile, back at the bar, Hank tells Luanne that he’s drunk, and eventually loses consciousness. When he comes to, he realizes he’s in the back seat of a car…and Luanne and Cheesy Guy are making out in the front seat. He screams in protest. Back at the motel, Dale and Sheila head out onto the roof, where she trys to be more romantic. When Dale realizes what's happing, he pulls away from Sheila and holds up his wedding ring. He reminds her that he’s a married man, and refuses to do anything behind Nancy's back no matter how hot Sheila is. With that, Sheila exits. Later, Dale returns home and tells Nancy what happened. They decide to watch Sanford and Son, Dale’s favorite show. As the sun rises over Arlen, a car pulls up in the Hill driveway. Hank stumbles out of the Cheesy Guy’s car and falls onto the lawn. The sprinklers turn on.
- Hank Hill
- Peggy Hill
- Bobby Hill
- Luanne Platter
- Dale Gribble
- Nancy Gribble
- Jeff Boomhauer
- Bill Dauterive
- Sheila (cameo)
- John Redcorn
- Becky (cameo)
- Sheila's Assistant (cameo)
- During the bar scene where Luanne is talking about how much the guy across the room from her is handsome, the song in the background is "Fever of the Flava" by Hot Action Cop. It's very hard to hear though. You can hear the words "Oh, what do I have to say?"
- When Bill and Boomhauer are helping the alpha male pigeon get out of his acid trip, a mock-up of Pink Floyd's "The Great Gig In The Sky" plays in the background (they couldn't get rights clearances for use of the real song).
- "Ako mangiangan ang kalapati diyos" is Filipino for "I need the dove God".
- "Siya nasain maari diyan bukas" is Filipino for "He will open you there".
- When Hank is Luanne's designated driver and he really wanted and forced to drink is similar to the Simpsons episode the "The State of New York vs Homer Simpson", where Barney Gumble was the designated driver and felt the need for beer having opportunity to chug a giant mug. This likely a reference to that because some of the writers worked on that show before.
- Bobby speaks one line of dialogue in this episode.
- The song playing at the bar while Hank is drunk is "I Want To Know What Love Is" by Foreigner.
- Hank's lawn is shown to have in-ground sprinklers at the end of the episode.
- When Dale, in his van, sees the van he's been waiting to meet drive up, he tells Hank to wait inside. His hand is animated to be placed on Hank's shoulder. However, for a second or two, Dale's hand is resting on empty air. Hank then moves into position fluidly in place under Dale's palm.
- Dale: "I've made two vows in my life. One to the NRA, and the other to Nancy Hicks-Gribble nee Nancy Hicks."
- Bouncer: "What's up, Hefner?"
Hank: "You take that back! I am the designated driver, and I'd like a wristband that reflects that."
- Cheesy Guy: "Hey, what's your name, Beautiful?"
Luanne: "It's Luanne, but you can call me Beautiful. I am totally flirting in a bar!"
Hank: "I have never needed a beer so bad in my entire life."
- John Redcorn: "Nancy, I feel I should warn you -- man, this is an awkward call -- I think this woman is interested in Dale. You shouldn't let him go out tonight."
Nancy: "That's why I sent her to you! What about the massage?"
John Redcorn: "It was just a massage. And she assumed the tip was included in the gift certificate!"
- Hank: "What am I supposed to wear to Luanne's birthday party? I need something that says 'I am not some weird old guy in the bar, I am here against my will.'"
- John Redcorn: "I'm sure Nancy told you about the time I cured four of her migranes in one night?"
- Nancy: "Wouldn't that be poetic justice? I come back to Dale and he runs off with another woman?"
Peggy: "I would say it's ironic, but you're the one it's happening to, you can call it what you want."
- Sheila: "Dale, honey, would you mind grabbing a caulking gun and helping me out?"
Hank: "Do you know how many years I wished Peggy would ask me that?"
- Sheila: "Whoa, that's some kind of spray-wand you got there. Bet you could blast one hell of a gopher with that thing."
Dale: "I could blast through a horse to get to the gopher."
- Sheila: "This is one impressive infestation. Was this neighborhood built on a landfill?"
- Dale: "These birds don't stand a chance against this ultrasonic bird distress emitter." (laughs) "I was up all night listening to sounds that'll drive you crazy." (Dale turns on a recording of annoying sounds)
Hank: "How long does this have to go on for?"
- Dale: "Gribble Team ready! I'm assuming you'll want the heads for identification purposes?"
Hank: "You're supposed to count the birds, Dale."
Dale: "Eventually they will be counted."
- Dale: "Bill, you're a filthy, flocking animal. Would this scare you?" (shoves a ceramic owl in Bill's face)
Bill: (yells in fright, and quickly regains composure) "No."
- Peggy: "Oh, Luanne, I will make your birthday party so much fun! And I can be there to gently remind you that as the daughter of an alcoholic, you have a genetic gun pointed at your head and with every drink, you are adding another bullet to the chamber."
- Tagline: "Coooo." -Sheila "Aaaaakh." - Dale