|Season 6, Episode 3|
|Air date||December 12, 2001|
|Written by||Dean Young|
|Directed by||Allan Jacobsen|
Soldier of Misfortune
The Father, the Son and J.C.
Peggy manages to talk her way into taking the Spanish Club who she's substitute teaching for to Mexico on a field trip. Even with Hank not wanting her to leave (claiming she isn't fluent in Spanish), she still goes to Mexico. She doesn't follow the teacher's planned itinerary and ends up taking the children to a butcher's shop, thinking it is a Carnival. The trip goes relatively well until Peggy accidently makes Lupe, a Mexican girl selling gum, to get onto the bus departing for Texas, thinking that she is one of her students and not understanding when she says 'I live in Mexico'.
Meanwhile, Hank gets pulled over by a female cop and makes comments that the cop thinks are flirtations. He talks his way out of a ticket, but feels bad and returns to get the ticket, only to get her phone number, confirming his fears. Once they arrive at the school, the other children go home, and Peggy confronts Lupe who won't go home. She then realizes her mistake and takes Lupe home where she tries to get Lupe to call her home. Lupe tells her that her family doesn't have a telephone, but Peggy misunderstands yet again, and hides her in the closet while feeding her. Hank soon finds out and demands that Peggy call the authorities, but she decides to instead take care of it herself. The cop is outside again and Peggy gets Hank to stall her as she drives Lupe back to Mexico. Once Peggy returns Lupe to her home in Mexico, she is arrested for kidnapping. Her appointed lawyer plans to convince the jury that it was all a misunderstanding, brought on by Peggy's poor Spanish. Peggy, however, refuses to allow her lawyer to make that defense, claiming she speaks perfect Spanish. Hank (who had by then driven to Mexico for Peggy's trial) and the lawyer then get an idea and have Peggy give her own testimony in Spanish, pointedly telling the judge that she will be speaking in her own words. Peggy then gives the judge her own account of the events, speaking in what she doesn't realize is very poor Spanish (calling the judge a horse, saying she was very pregnant because of what happened with Lupe, stating she wished to make Lupe into a book, saying she had many good anuses ahead of her, etc). The charges are dropped and Peggy hugs her husband, proud of herself for showing him she speaks the language perfectly, and once again showing her blind spot where her own ignorance is concerned. Ironically, at the very end, the judge clearly -- even to non-Spanish speakers -- declares Peggy "Not Guilty," but Peggy believes that he says "Guilty" and thinks she's going to jail.
- Dooley has brown hair in several of the Mexico scenes.