|Hank's Dirty Laundry|
|Season 2, Episode 17|
|Air date||March 1, 1998|
|Written by||Jonathan Aibel and Glenn Berger|
|Directed by||Shaun Cashman|
The Final Shinsult
Hank's Dirty Laundry is the 17th episode of the second season of King of the Hill. It aired on March 1, 1998. The episode was written by Jonathan Aibel and Glenn Berger, and directed by Shaun Cashman. Billy West and Lynne Thigpen guest star.
Hank reacts with horror when he notices Peggy hanging his underwear on a clothesline for all the world to see. Peggy explains she was forced to do so because the dryer had broken down and Hank agreed the time had come to replace the old unit. He and his family travel to the Mega Lo Mart, where Hank ended up lecturing a salesman on the benefits of purchasing a propane-fueled dryer. Peggy and Hank eventually settle on a Spinmore brand dryer but when it comes time to make the purchase, Peggy convinces her husband it is in their best interest to pay for the dryer by applying for the store's credit card. But the salesman informs the Hills that their application has been denied due to bad credit, which surprises Hank who declares is it incorrect and an error.
Hank discovers that the source of his problem is a dispute at Arlen Video, which claims Hank owes forty dollars for a tape that was never returned and reported it to a credit agency. At the store, a clerk explains that computer records indicate the film in question is Cuffs & Collars. Hank emphatically denies ever renting the tape and is horrified when he discovers it's an adult title. Meanwhile, Bobby mistakes his parents preoccupation with the matter as preparations for his upcoming birthday. Peggy pressures her husband to pay the forty dollars so they can buy the dryer. But Hank refuses, again insisting he never rented the tape. Dale states that Hank has been pulled into a systematic computer network and government involved conspiracy that he calls "The Beast", designed to target, harass, and spy on citizens with computers and other network technology. Hank quickly dismisses Dale until he get a call from an adult video distribution service who got his information on a mailing list from Arlen Video. His name then ends up on a pornography mailing list and adult videos and paraphernalia begins arriving in the Hill's mail in large quantities. An outraged Hank gathers the materials and makes an attempt to return them to the Arlen Post Office, but a postal worker insists the source of the problem is the company from whom Hank first "purchased" pornography and he must contact them.
At Dale's suggestion, him and Hank travel to the Arlen Municipal Garbage Dump where they attempt to quickly bury the adult materials, knowing they are breaking the law. When police officer arrives at the dump to investigating the illegal dumping, Dale is immediately gone and leaves Hank alone to deal with the officer. The police officer tells Hank it's against the law to bury the items when he notices a petroleum based byproduct in the Superglide lubricant and in the batteries the the vibrator, which Hanks insists in a "personal wand massager". After the officer states it's is being disposed of illegally, he demands to see Hank's license. Hank hesitates and runs off, making the pursuing officer slip by spraying the Superglide on the ground.
In a desparate last attempt to clear his name and gain public recognition of the issue, Hank creates a petition that urges citizens to boycott Arlen Video, only drawing further attention to his predicament. Hank takes "The Beast" to court by suing Arlen Video, primarilty out of principle and to clear his name. A short time later, Hank receives a delivery of pornographic tapes. An attached note, signed anonymously, states that, "the answer is in the tapes." Hank views the tapes, confident the answer does indeed lie within. When the case is heard at the Arlen County Court, Hank testifies to a judge he did not rent the tape. To prove his case, Hank displays Polaroid photos he took of scenes from the movies. He points out that the star of Cuffs & Collars, Fernanda Valley, made a triumphant return to her profession and got a tattoo reading "I love Charlie Sheen " on the occasion of her eighteenth birthday, which is visible in Cuffs & Collars. Valley turned eighteen two weeks after Hank supposedly rented Cuffs & Collars. Therefore Hank could not have rented a movie that technically did not exist at the time Arlen Video said he did.The judge agrees and rules in Hank's favor. At the end, a guy leaves another note in cereal killer letters saying " Congratulations - a friend." then it shows that the mystery guy who wants the pornography videos back was Bill and Bill steals them back at the end of the court case. Later, Bobby is overjoyed when he sees the dryer being delivered, convinced it is his birthday present.
- Many fans believe that the reason why Cuffs & Collars was on Hank's name in Arlen Video was because Bill was the one who checked it out under Hank's name.
- The song where Peggy sings in the car is Playing with the Queen of Hearts by Juice Newton.
- Even though Cuffs & Collars is the only film seen in the episode, there were more that Bill let Hank borrow which are called Jail Bait, Hung Jury and Illegal Entry.
- When Hank is watching the movies he closes the door and locks it, yet Peggy is able to open it from the other side.
- The ending song is a funky-sultry-sexy version of the Theme song
- When Peggy sees Hank shake his pen, she thinks he masturbating.
- Luanne is drawn wearing pants later in the episode because it was written that she pull keys out of her pocket. Her standard outfit does not have pockets.
- Hank's revelation would imply that Fernanda Valley was in pornography when she was 17 and a minor.
- Later in the series in The Witches of East Arlen, the Hill's are seen shopping at Red Carpet Video. It's assumed they were no longer customers at Arlen Video after the credit incident.