|Fun with Jane and Jane|
|Season 6, Episode 17|
|Air date||April 21, 2002|
|Written by||Garland Testa|
|Directed by||Adam Kuhlman|
Beer and Loathing
My Own Private Rodeo
It is closing time for Strickland Propane and Hank has made plans for a dinner with Peggy, which was claimed with a "coupon" made by Hank. However, before Hank can leave, Buck comes from his office and requests Hank to handle an errand, involving his shotgun. It is revealed that Buck was involved in a pyramid scheme that had him purchase a farm of emus and is seeking money from his insurance company to reclaim the money he lost in the start, by having Hank kill off the emus. Meanwhile, while preparing for the night, Peggy explains to Luanne, who is willingly wanting to play board games with Peggy, that she must have friends and is suggested to try joining into sororities on her campus. Peggy soon receives the phone call and is left disappointed and alone after Bobby leaves for Joesph's home. Hank, now accompanied by Dale, Bill and Boomhauer, arrive at the ranch, armed and ready to kill off the emus. But after feeding and admiring the birds, the group cannot proceed, leaving Dale wanting and unwilling to kill the birds. On the college, Luanne finds a sorority to join, all full with popular girls, and unintentionally humiliates herself. Soon, Luanne, now sitting alone and drinking, is approached by a girl who claims to understand Luanne's problems and invites her to a sorority known as the "Omega house". Luanne reluctantly joins. As Luanne is seen entering the Omega house, Jane, the girl Luanne was introduced to the Omega house, is seen taken away by two men and a woman in the van, claiming her name is "Lisa". It is revealed that the sorority is a cult. At the same night, Hank also stops by at Buck's home and tells him the emus are killed, showing feathers as proof.
In the Omega house, an initiation rite proceeds and starts to induct new members; the members are told to be named "Jane", claiming their names are their "old lives". A member decides to call herself Jane, only with Luanne excited being a member. The next day, Hank and the group are seen driving around town with the Emus now hiding in Dale's van. After stopping to decide what to do, Bill pets one of the emus, but one of them kicks Bill in the stomach, then escapes. Dale, Hank and Boomhauer try to stop the other three from escaping, but fail. The group is now forced to recapture the emus before Buck finds out they have lied about killing them. Back in the Omega house, the entire house is fed only rice, with the Jane in charge explaining reasons why. Soon, it is revealed that the group is destined to head to a farm that the house will work to produce jams and to meet "old Jane". However, Luanne disobeys the Jane in charge and orders a pizza delivered to the house, resulting her to be locked in a closet. Later, Hank and Boomhauer end up capturing an emu and run into Luanne, who is caught selling jams on the freeway with other members. Luanne, delirious, tells Hank about what the house is doing, only Hank believes Luanne is drunk and selling jams for alcohol. Fortunately, Luanne is told to come home and stows away with the emu in the trunk. Luanne is fed a plate of meat and explains what the house is doing, only with Peggy believing the house is hazing new members. When Hank leaves to capture the emu that Bobby accidentally let out, Peggy explains to Luanne that she made the mistake of not joining any sororities and had little friends in the past, and encourages Luanne to continue being a member of the Omega house. When arriving to the Omega house, Peggy convinces the Jane in charge to let Luanne back, only to be persuaded to join the house herself.
Back in Strickland, Hank is seen making calls and asking about the emus, only to be told by Buck that the insurance company needed actual proof of the dead emus by bringing the carcasses to the company. Now distressed, Hank receives a phone call from Peggy about a weekend trip to a ranch that the Omega house is taking the Janes. With no choice left, Hank proceeds to head to a butcher and requests 75 pounds of steak in order to convince Buck that he did kill the emus as requested. Back at the house, Peggy and Luanne are now hungry and brainwashed and believe the retreat will be amazing and are packing to leave by bus. While driving, Hank is told by Dale that the Omega house is a cult that recriuts unspecting girls from campus, deprive them of protein, bathroom breaks, contact with friends and family, and are planning on sending girls to a ranch for slavery to produce jams and jellies. Alarmed, Hank drives to the house and attempts to convince Luanne and Peggy by grilling the steaks purchased earlier. Peggy soon awakens from her trance and realizes that she is not Jane, but Peggy Hill and that she loves meat. The rest of the house is attracted to the meat and leaves the Jane in charge shocked. Later at night, Buck is seen opening his car, when from behind, he is attacked by the emus that he wanted dead.
- Hank Hill
- Peggy Hill
- Bobby Hill
- Luanne Platter
- Dale Gribble
- Jeff Boomhauer
- Bill Dauterive
- Buck Strickland
- Lisa (cameo)
- Jane (cameo)
- Jane #2 (cameo)
- Deprogrammed (cameo) - voiced by David Herman
- SORORITY GIRL: My mother and grandmother were sisters at Texas Tech.
- LUANNE: Your mother and grandmother were sisters? Shoot, your family's more messed up than mine!
- KATHRYN: So, was your mother in a house?
- LUANNE: Well, she's been in a halfway house, and the big house...
- BILL: Why does everything I love run away from me?
- HANK: Because you have to pet everything like an idiot!
- Omega house helps Luanne with her luggage. Luanne goes inside but another one of the Omega sisters is abducted by two men, who force her into a van.
- LISA: Get your hands off me!
- DEPROGRAMMER #1: We are not strangers, your mother is here with us. To his teammate Now, drive!
- Van speeds away from Omega house
- MOTHER: Lisa, these men are here to help you. They will get you back to normal.
- LISA: Who is Lisa? My name is Jane.
- DEPROGRAMMER #2: That was a lucky break that we got her. This cult has got lawyers up the yin-yang!
- LUANNE: Rice for breakfast? But we had rice for dinner last night! I'm losin' weight 'cause I haven't had any meat! And I lose weight in my chest first!
- HEAD JANE: You think you are hungry, but you're not. Your body lies to you, just like your parents. But you can trust us. We will tell you when you're hungry. We will tell you when you're tired.
- LUANNE: Will you tell me if I have to go to the bathroom right now? Because I think I do, but a lot of the times when I get there, I don't, and I just sit there and hum.
- HEAD JANE: No! No bathroom! Number one and number two is something you did before you became an Omega!
"Autonomatonomonapotons." - Dale
- The title is a reference to the popular children's series Fun with Dick and Jane, written by William S. Gray and Zena Sharp.
- Pro Bono (Latin for "the public good") as Dale says, is the term generally used to describe professional work done voluntarily.
- Despite portrayed as aggressive, Emus rarely attack humans.
- It is unknown whether Hank was punished for not killing the emus as told to do.