Bystand Me

Bystand Me
Air date	September 25, 2005
Written by	Kit Boss
Directed by	Dominic Polcino
Episode guide
Previous	"Hank's On Board"
Next	"Bill's House"

"Bystand Me" is the one hundred-eighty-eighth episode of King of the Hill. It was first aired on September 25, 2005. The episode was written by Kit Boss and directed by Dominic Polcino.

Summary

Peggy becomes a writer for the Arlen Bystander but is assigned to a Household Hints column and resorts to a deal with Minh and making things up in order to keep her new job. Meanwhile, Bobby reluctantly becomes a paper boy and teams up with Dale to get through the early morning route.

Plot

As the guys are drinking in the alley, Harv drives up to them and reveals that he and other delivery men have lost their jobs since the new owner of the Bystander wants to bring back paper boys. Hank is interested in the idea of getting Bobby to become a paper boy. He tells Bobby the news but Bobby naturally tries to back out of it. Hank doesn't give him a choice and informs him that sign-ups are the next day. As Bobby leaves in defeat, Peggy excitedly announces that she will also go to the Bystander to apply for a job.

The next day, Bobby is standing in line with other boys when Dale appears and tries to pass himself off as a kid in order to sign-up for a route. When Bobby makes an off-handed comment about switching roles, Dale offers him a deal of letting him take over the route while Bobby sleeps in the back of the van. Making sure they have their bases covered, Bobby accepts the deal.

Later, Kahn and Minh are racing each other to complete a cross-word puzzle when they hear Peggy yell from having spilled coffee on her silk blouse. After Minh points out how Peggy is a housewife who does not know how to clean, she tells Peggy to soak the stain in lime juice, but Peggy simply decides to change since she does not have enough time. She later meets with the chief editor, Roddy Rae Biffel, who decides to give Peggy a chance to prove herself but, to Peggy's dismay, he gives her a section based on tips to help around the home. She decides to take the chance and claims Minh's earlier hint as a family secret she learned from her grandfather.

After the meeting, Peggy tries to cozy up to Minh for more tips she has obtained from her mother-in-law but Minh quickly figures out what Peggy is up to. Peggy offers Minh answers to the cross-word puzzles if she can provide more cleaning tips. Minh is not quick to accept the deal since it would mean talking to Laoma more, but she agrees when Kahn mocks her about not having a bigger vocabulary like him.

The next morning, a tired Bobby is waiting outside the Get In Get Out when the Bystander van drops off his load of newspapers. When the van leaves, Dale pulls up and gets Bobby and the papers, and eagerly starts the route. At the office, Peggy meets some of the other reporters when she mentions the editor took her column into the bathroom but has yet to return. She is told that if Biffel comes out with her paper in hand, it's a sign he liked what she wrote. Fortunately for Peggy, Biffel comes out with her article still intact. Her new colleagues congratulate her and take her to The Life Boat where other members of all media gather. The news and paper members engage in banter with one another when Nancy spots Peggy. The two agree to a fake cat-fight so Peggy can establish herself.

The next morning, Bobby has a run in with Harv who is angry at the paper boys for the loss of his job. After Bobby escapes, he wakes up in Dale's van only to learn that he's over two hours late for school and missed a science test. That afternoon, Peggy and Minh swap answers. Later, the guys are drinking in the alley as Hank boasts about Bobby working until Boomhauer and Bill mention finding their papers on Boomhauer's roof. As the family goes to Luly's, Hank tells Bobby about the complaints regarding where the newspapers are landing. As Bobby promises to work on it, Peggy is approached by a woman who thanks and praises her for her hint's column. Hank points out how he has never heard Peggy mention the hint before and asks where she learned it, but he quickly backs out of the conversation when Peggy says she wants to talk about their marriage.

Peggy later goes to Minh's house to get more cleaning tips but becomes devastated when Minh gets into an argument with Laoma and the tips are cut off. Two days later, Hank goes out to get the paper when he notices Dale's van creeping onto the sidewalk. When he goes to check if everything is all right, he discovers Bobby sleeping in the back and discovers their ruse. Meanwhile, Peggy is struggling to put a hint together but eventually comes up with something to submit. Later in bed, she tells Hank that she told readers to combine ammonia and bleach that she believes will be a super cleaning produce but is horrified when Hank tells her this will actually make mustard gas that could potentially kill anyone who mixes the chemicals together.

After collecting Bobby, they head to the distribution center only to learn they are too late to stop the papers from going out. Bobby puts together a plan to gather all of the papers, but they will need the help of Harv and his crew. After getting them to join in, the group goes around Arlen and successfully gathers all of the newspapers.

At the Bystander, Peggy is packing up her desk when Biffel asks if she knows what happened to the newspapers. Peggy explains what happened to the papers and that it was because of her submitting a dangerous hint. Biffel decides to keep Peggy on staff but removes her from the hint's column and puts her to work making captions for silly photographs.

Characters

• Hank Hill
• Peggy Hill
• Bobby Hill
• Dale Gribble
• Nancy Gribble
• Bill Dauterive
• Boomhauer
• Kahn Souphanousinphone
• Minh Souphanousinphone
• Laoma Souphanousinphone (voice-only)
• Bob Jenkins
• Burl Arlington
• Roddy Rae Biffel
• Harv
• Stuart Dooley
• Clark Peters (non-speaking)
• Leventhal (non-speaking)
• Freddie Hakimi (non-speaking)

Stinger Quote

• Dale: (screams) "Rad!"

Trivia

• In this episode, Peggy does Hank's trademark "Bwaaah" scream when she finds out that the household hint she published in her newspaper column is a recipe for mustard gas.
• Contrary to what the episode states, mixing ammonia and bleach actually produces chloramine gas, not mustard gas. That said, both are considered highly toxic.
• The title is a reference to the Rob Reiner film Stand By Me, based on the Stephen King novella The Body.
• At the very end of the episode when Peggy is listing off headlines for the newspaper editor, she ends with "Pink Ink Stinks Rink" which is a parody of the famous newspaper headline "Sticks Nix Hick Pix".

Goofs

• In one of the last scenes, when Hank, Peggy, Bobby and Dale go see the newspaper deliverers for help, the third man from the left in the group, with a red hat and glasses, appears to have a red jacket for the first few shots but in later shots his jacket is blue.
• When Minh and Khan are doing crosswords at the beginning of the episode, Minh is wearing big blue circles as earrings in only one shot in that scene, but then is shown wearing them consistently throughout the rest of the episode.

Gallery