|Dang Ol' Love|
|Season 6, Episode 20|
|Air date||May 5, 2002|
|Written by||Dean Young|
|Directed by||Gary McCarver|
Dang Ol' Love is the one hundred-twenty-fourth episode of King of the Hill. It was first aired on May 5, 2002. The episode was written by Dean Young, and directed by Gary McCarver. Laura Linney guest stars.
It is a bright and sunny morning in Arlen, Texas and the scene transitions to the inside of the Hill household where Hank, Peggy, and Lady Bird all sleeping with the other in content. Then, at Boomhauer's residence, it can be seen that Boomhauer is sleeping peacefully with the Ice Cream Lady, presumably after a night of passion together. Then, the scene then transition to Bill, whom is currently hanging out by the alley, having a cold beer by his lonesome. Bill then looks at the watch, and as he looks at the road again, only the newspaper boy comes by, tossing various newspapers at houses. Bill asks the young man if he would like to hang out at the alley until his friends awaken from their slumber, and the young man replies back that he is busy working as he continues riding down the road on his bike.
So, Bill is once again left alone to his own devices until his eye happens to catch a woman jogging down the alley. As Bill is breath-taken by this jogger, she notices him admiring her and she gives him a smile of acknowledgement back as she continues running down the alley. The next thing Bill does is declare that he has met a woman to the Hill residence and shouts this declaration out to Boomhauer, whom is roused from his slumber by Bill's declaration. When he turns over, Boomhauer is surprised that the Ice Cream Lady is still there and she stayed because she was planning to make him breakfast come sunrise. However, Boomhauer merely tells her that it would not be necessary, giving excuses such as he had a hang-glider lesson and that he had to tutor a blind kid for the Special Olympics, much to the Ice Cream Lady's dismay.
Bobby is then seen waking up and is pouring himself a cup of coffee when he notices the Ice Cream Lady's truck right outside Boomhauer's residence, so he asks for $1.50 for ice cream from his parents, to wit Hank replies that the Ice Cream Lady, whom he calls the "Mrs. Dippy Cone Lady", is currently not on duty and that she's busy dating with Boomhauer at the moment. Bobby only replied that would give him an advantage since he could even get to know the Ice Cream Lady on a personal level and he runs off to buy ice cream. Peggy then grouses about Boomhauer's dating choices and wishes that he would date someone intelligent, like a congresswoman so she could get her law passed.
Bill then recaps to his friends about the events of what happened that morning, but beca use they have never seen the woman that Bill is currently describing, they only think that she is a figment of Bill's imagination, much like his imaginary friends were. Bill retorts that they were far more supportive than his actual friends and runs off. Dale then says that Bill didn't hear what his imaginary friends were saying behind his back. Bill then asks Peggy for a coffee cup for the jogger that he met earlier that morning. Just like the guys, Peggy doesn't seem to buy his story as she pantomimes giving Bill a coffee cup after cleaning it. Bill then takes Bobby's mug and runs out the door.
Bill tries again with the story of the jogger the next morning by saying that he had coffee with her as well. Once again, his friends dismiss him as just imagining the jogger. This time, however, Bill has proof to corroborate his story: he recorded the event in question as proof this woman exists. Hank then reminds Bill of him falling in love with someone else before this jogger lady, but that didn't make the jogger his girlfriend. Bill retorts that maybe in a perfect world, both he and Hank could be married to Peggy, but as it was real life, he did have to find someone to love.
As Bill is walking away from the alley, Dale finally decides to help Bill win this jogger's heart by "tending to her wounds she gets from tripping on a hole in the alleyway that Bill had dug". Bill responds that he never did anything of the sort, so Dale decides to break it down for Bill by saying that 20 potholes would be dug in the alley's road, she would stumble and fall on one of them, Bill would then come to her aid and he would win her affection.. After explaining it to him, Hank cuts in and says that the divorcee has enough problems without the woman suing him for such an action and Boomhauer agrees that it's a bad idea and instead, he suggests that Bill should be flirtatious towards her.
It is then that Boomhauer hears the familiar jingle of the Ice Cream Truck that the Ice Cream Lady rides and he then decides to take cover from her, asking Hank to lie for him by saying he moved away. Hank then says he's not much of a liar as the I.C. Lady approaches and inquires about whether or not that "Boomhauer has returned from his safari." Hank then tries to lie for Boomhauer, and is about to rat Boomhauer out unintentionally until Dale lies for Boomhauer by saying that he moved to Denver. The Ice Cream Lady drives away in sadness as Bobby tries futilely to chase after her for ice cream as she drives away and tries to call for her.
Luanne then tells Bobby that she will not ever return to Boomhauer's and Luanne tries to explain to him that Boomhauer is a womanizer in a subtle way: that he doesn't prefer to be tied down to one woman, using ice cream as an example. Bobby then says, not getting the point, that he can have different flavors of ice cream everyday as he's dating the ice cream lady. Luanne then very bluntly explains what they've been doing and that Boomhauer has abandoned her. Thus, Bobby no longer has access to easy ice cream. Later that night, Dale and Bill are busy setting up the trap of potholes in the alley's road. Dale mentions how great it will be once the female jogger and Bill are a couple. Bill reminds him about Hank and Peggy, but Dale simply responds that he's run out of things to say to her.
The next morning, Bill is ready for action and as predicted in Dale's plan, the jogger happens to wind up tripping over a pothole in the road. Bill tries to go tend to the jogger's wounds, but he winds up falling and stumbling into his own trap. Boomhauer happens to hear the noise from outside, and the next time Bill looks up, Boomhauer is seen picking the woman up as he lifts her up to treat her injuries and Bill tries to beg in vain for her to come back, only for Boomhauer and the jogger to walk into his house, leaving Bill by his lonesome. Dido's Thank You can then be heard as Bill mourns his lost opportunity, evades an incoming car, and cries on the grass.
Later, Bill is then treating his own injuries as Dale believes that the jogger and Bill had quite the night together. Bill only gripes about his failed chance at getting this woman to Boomhauer, saying that Bill would have given the jogger the same amount love-making that Boomhauer did. The jogger is then escorted to a taxi by Boomhauer and they drive away as he tells the driver to put it on his tab. Bill and Boomhauer then proceed to have an argument about what had recently occurred, but not before Bill winds up tripping over his own trap again due to his inability to watch where he's going. As they argue, Hank comes out and says that Bobby is trying to take a nap. This incident now puts a strain on Bill and Boomhauer's friendship.
As they are busy refilling the potholes, the jogger then arrives in a Jaguar. Just like he did with the Ice Cream Lady, Boomhauer again asks Hank to lie for him and say that he has moved to Denver. As the woman pulls up, Dale compliments her car and Boomhauer pops his head up from the fence and compliments her car. Bill then takes this opportunity to introduce himself and ask for some of the woman's hair for his collection and Hank worriedly asks what Bill is doing. Bill then replies he is flirting, only for Hank to shake his head in response. The woman seems to ignore Bill and says to Boomhauer that she did not know he liked classic cars and the only thing she knew about him is that he was ticklish. Boomhauer then asks for her to make him laugh as they decide to pull up to his home. Dale cheers Boomhauer on while apologizing to Bill. Bill begs for Dido not to be playing again, but much to his dismay, Dido's Thank You can be heard once more playing as Bill cries out in disappointment. Dale and Hank continue drinking beer as Bill cries out his frustrations.
- Hank Hill
- Peggy Hill
- Bobby Hill
- Luanne Platter
- Dale Gribble
- Jeff Boomhauer
- Bill Dauterive
- Ice Cream Lady (cameo)
- Marlene (cameo)
- Steven (cameo)
- Crossing Guard (cameo)
- Meemaw (cameo)