|Be True to Your Fool|
|Season 7, Episode 19|
|Air date||April 27, 2003|
|Written by||Dan McGrath|
|Directed by||Anthony Lioi|
I Never Promised You an Organic Garden
Hank is enjoying a golf tournament on TV, when he suddenly hears that Bill needs help, who is pinned down under his couch after looking for change. To much of Hank's annoyance, Dale explains that the tournament Hank was enjoying was perhaps the "greatest", further angering Hank. Soon, the group's scalps start to itch, until Bill reveals that he has spread lice to his friends, in an attempt to attract a woman who was specialized with lice. Angry, the group leaves Bill and goes to Boomhauer's bathroom to kill off the lice with a prescribed shampoo. However, the shampoo fails and further itches the scalp, causing Dale to itch tremendously. The next morning, Peggy, while wearing a shower cap, explains to Hank that lice is no reason to be ashamed of, only Hank complaining further about Bill and being fed up with his antics. As soon as Hank, Dale and Boomhauer meet, with Bill shunned from the group and standing in front of his house, Hank explains that the same woman that Bill was trying to attempt said the only solution was to shave their heads. However, Dale decides to use the same chemicals he uses to kill pests to kill the lice, only blinding and burning him. Bill, now depressed, soon purchases a pack of beer and becomes drunk and pours the rest of his beer into a mailbox, while in the presence of an officer. He is soon arrested for public drunkenness. Soon, Bill phones Hank, who is in the process of having his hair shaved, to ask to bail him out only with Hank angrily refusing. But before his head is shaved, Hank is told by Peggy that there is a tattoo on the back of his head, only to find out that it has the name "Bill".
Hank, confused and disoriented, the questions Dale how he got his tattoo, only to get a ridiculous answer. Meanwhile, Bill is talking with the other inmates and befriending the prisoners, who are interested more about Bill and are entertained by him. As Hank continues his search for the explanation about the tattoo, he gets his tattoo removed and goes on to Boomhauer to find out how the tattoo was on his head. Apparently, Boomhauer is equally surprised and finds it amusing how Hank found out about Hank's tattoo. Boomhauer explains that when the men were high school students, they all wanted to commomerate Bill for joining the military, by driving to Dallas to celebrate in a bar known as the "Chainsaw", which is a popular spot for punk rock opposed to Hank's thinking that it is a bar for the lumber industry. However, Hank becomes drunk and offends some skinhead punks and Bill is forced to protect him, whereas Boomhauer and Dale escort Hank out. As Dale is vomiting outside, with Bill watching over him, Hank decides to get himself a tattoo with Bill's name to show his respect, only with Boomhauer opposing the idea. But before Hank gets the tattoo, he passes out, with Boomhauer explaining to the artist to print it on the back of his head (where no one would know about it). Hank is guiltful about how Bill had helped Hank and he has not done so in return. The next day, Hank decides to visit Bill, only to be refused in prison and in court; it is then implied that Bill is planning to confess as the "northside burglar", to be locked up for a extended period of time. To Hank's surprise, he tries to persuade him, only to decide that he must be arrested himself. After attempting to violate several laws, he finally is arrested when ramming his truck on to another police vehicle. Hank then explains to Bill that he had even arrested himself to talk to Bill, only to fail convincing him when he explains about the tattoo and how he removed it. With the help of his inmate, Hank gets a fake tattoo and shows Bill. Bill is then convinced and is happy to hear that Hank cherishes his friendship. Bill is released with the exception of Hank and is seen sitting and waiting for Hank's court date.
- In the bar scene, the Punk rock band is seen playing "Nazi Punks", a censored version of the Dead Kennedys song.
- Dale's bug spray contains both Malathion and Lindane, which is ironically used to kill lice. However, in Dale's statement that it is harmless is somewhat vague; Malathion does not cause cancer while Lindane does. Both, when sprayed upon the human body, causes the following symptoms: eye and skin irritation, dizziness, cramps, nausea and even death.
- The Quarterflash song "Harden My Heart" is heard in this episode despite it being released in 1981.