|A Beer Can Named Desire|
|Season 4, Episode 6|
|Air date||November 14, 1999|
|Written by||Jim Dauterive|
|Directed by||Chris Moeller and Chuck Austen|
Happy Hank's Giving
Hank wins an Alamo Beer contest for a chance to win a million dollars by throwing a football through a one-foot hole in a giant Alamo Beer can, while Bill visits the rest of the Dauterive family in Louisiana. The episode begins in the alley, with Hank, Dale, Bill, and Boomhauer having gone through several beers in an attempt to win the contest. Finally, Hank goes in, putting away his last beer in the refrigerator. Luanne drinks it later on and discovers that it's the winning can. She claims it's her beer, until Hank points out that she's underage and that if it's her beer she gets arrested rather than going to New Orleans as she would if it were his beer. In the contest, Hank can either take the throw himself for a chance at one million dollars or have former Cowboy quarterback Don Meredith take it for a chance at one hundred-thousand dollars. This proves to be a tough choice for Hank. Many people advise him to "take the sure thing," but Hank builds a replica metal beer can and starts to practice. By the time of the contest, he's become pretty good. On the way to New Orleans, they stop at a local bait store where Bill surprises Hank and Peggy by asking for directions to the Dautrive residence in fluent Cajun French. Arriving at Chateau Dautrive, Bill meets three attractive young women, Lily, Rose and Violetta as well as his cousin Gilbert. The three women are lonely widows. One is Bill's cousin, the other two were married to his cousins. Bill chooses to remain behind with them while the others continue to New Orleans. All three make advances on Bill, who becomes confused and struggles to figure out which is his biological cousin. Late at night, the women come upon Bill in his bed and begin a violent fight over him. Gilbert then appears and reveals which is his cousin, the one named Violetta. In New Orleans, Hank makes the choice and hands the ball over to Don Meredith. However, despite Hank's protests, Meredith leaves his winter coat on and misses the throw. Hank, believing that Meredith leaving his coat on was an act of laziness, tackles Don Meredith in a fit of anger. Later, the two meet and Hank confronts him, claiming he could've made the throw. Angered, Meredith brings Hank to the stadium and Hank throws the ball in the can. Hank however realizes it is different as there are no fans and there is no pressure. Meredith apologizes and says "I really wanted to come through for you, Hank." He then reveals that he'd practiced on a replica can at home too. He says that he had to wear his heavy coat while he practices his throws due to the chilly area where he lives, and that he didn't take his coat off because he believed it would throw him off. In the end the two make peace. Meanwhile back at the Dauterive resident Bill is confronted by the matriarch of the family, Aunt Esme, who questions whether or not Bill was there to raise a family with one of the widows or merely sleep with them. He sheepishly reveals he was there to sleep with them and Aunt Esme asks that Bill take his leave. The group stops at Chateau Dauterive to pick up Bill, where Bill elatedly reveals he slept with both the non-Dauterive widows.
- This episode is heavily based upon Tennessee Williams's play"A Streetcar Named Desire".