|A Beer Can Named Desire|
|Season 4, Episode 6|
|Air date||November 14, 1999|
|Written by||Jim Dauterive|
|Directed by||Chris Moeller and Chuck Austen|
Happy Hank's Giving
Hank wins an Alamo Beer contest for a chance to win a million dollars by throwing a football through a one-foot hole in a giant Alamo Beer can, while Bill visits the rest of the Dauterive family in Louisiana. The episode begins in the alley, with Hank, Dale, Bill, and Boomhauer having gone through several beers in an attempt to win the contest. Finally, Hank goes in, putting away his last beer in the refrigerator. Luanne opens it later and discovers that it's the winning can. She claims it's her beer, until Hank points out that she's underage and that if it's her beer she gets arrested rather than going to New Orleans as she would if it were his beer. In the contest, Hank can either take the throw himself for a chance at one million dollars or have former Cowboy quarterback Don Meredith take it for a chance at one hundred-thousand dollars. This proves to be a tough choice for Hank. Many people advise him to "take the sure thing," but Hank builds a replica metal beer can and starts to practice. By the time of the contest, he's become pretty good. On the way to New Orleans, they stop at the old Dauterive house, where Bill meets three women, as well as his cousin Gilbert. The three women are lonely widows. One is Bill's cousin, the other two were married to his cousins. Bill chooses to remain behind with them while the others continue to New Orleans. All three make advances on Bill, who becomes confused and struggles to figure out which is his biological cousin. Late at night, the women come upon Bill in his bed and begin a violent fight over him. Gilbert then appears and reveals which is his cousin, the one named Violetta. In New Orleans, Hank makes the choice and hands the ball over to Don Meredith. However, the ball clangs away. Hank thinks that Meredith didn't even try, saying "He didn't even take his coat off!" Infuriated, Hank tackles Don Meredith. Later, the two meet and Hank confronts him, claiming he could've made the throw. Angered, Meredith brings Hank to the stadium and Hank throws the ball in the can. Meredith apologizes and says "I really wanted to come through for you, Hank." He then reveals that he'd practiced on a replica can at home too. He says he had to wear his coat in the chilly mountainous area where he lives, so he didn't take it off because he didn't want to mess with his routine. In the end, the two make peace.
This episode is heavily based upon Tennessee Williams's play "Streetcar Named Desire".